


Shimmer

by LuciaWilt



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fights, Luke Pretty Cries, M/M, Mutually Unrequited, Purple Prose, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 12:24:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17203352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciaWilt/pseuds/LuciaWilt
Summary: He could see sunshine behind his eyes as he leaned back in the pilot seat, a cigarette sitting idly between his lips as Chewbacca made a low noise beside him. His companion made another nose and lit the cigarette; something he was shockingly good at considering his thick fur was a fire hazard. Han took a deep shuddering breath of the cigarette, of the tobacco, trying not to think of how he was 4 years away from hitting 50 cycles and definitely tried his hardest not to see sand and sun light and gold and black robes. He pinched his eyes to the point of pain to erase the image of desert tanned skin that smelt like the ocean oddly enough.





	Shimmer

**Author's Note:**

> time for some gratuitious time travel. no real plot just luke being an anakin/vader stan

Han Solo was honestly getting real damn tired as of late. It is not that he disliked being a father; or even disliked being in a family. He had one for the past ten years with Leia and Luke, and as much as he hated to admit it; with the rest of the rebellion turned official governing body. Maybe it was more like the war had taken a toll on him. That even sounded foolish though; considering how he was raised. While not in an active war zone in and of itself, being an orphan was pretty close to being a solider. You had to fight and kill to stay alive. 

But at the same time, as he yearned to just take a long nap forever, he could not help but think “retiring” from the adventure of life would ruin him. He just could not fathom sitting back in a tiny home by the sea. Thankfully Leia was just like him in many ways. The Princess turned General turned quasi military leader and Senator would more than likely implode if she slowed down for even a moment. Even after having their kid Ben, she kept running straight forwards at full speed. 

Han could not help but be impressed by her. She was a General and a military leader and royalty AND the perfect mother. She was the epitome of a person that could juggle ten things at once and still look great doing it. While he was out here floundering without a cigarette and a shot. 

Though Han could only assume there were a few reasons he acted like that, and was currently hiding out in the Falcon here on Naboo in the royal castle they were currently visiting. Surprisingly, or perhaps unsurprisingly, Leia’s familial connection was not the main reason he ran off from all the government officials. No. 

He could see sunshine behind his eyes as he leaned back in the pilot seat, a cigarette sitting idly between his lips as Chewbacca made a low noise beside him. His companion made another nose and lit the cigarette; something he was shockingly good at considering his thick fur was a fire hazard. Han took a deep shuddering breath of the cigarette, of the tobacco, trying not to think of how he was 4 years away from hitting 50 cycles and definitely tried his hardest not to see sand and sun light and gold and black robes. He pinched his eyes to the point of pain to erase the image of desert tanned skin that smelt like the ocean oddly enough. 

No there was no reason to think of him, to think of the shimmering gold dust he brought into Han’s mind. Off on some planet he did not disclose the name of; reading filthy old test from hundreds if not thousands of years ago. How foolish of Han, to think tradition and legacy; of something so ambiguous as destiny could dissuade a 23 year old of running off for a decade, only sending com messages. His heart twisted in agony and thankfully Chewie had learned during his time with Han not to comment on silent tears shared in the cockpit of the Falcon. 

Han reached up, a fist pushing into his eye that so unfaithfully teared up. “Damn.” He whispered to no one but himself. He was not damning the gold and the shimmers. No. He was not damning him. Han was damning the naivety that spread to his own heart. 

“Damn it.” He whispered again, quieter this time; as though it was a prayer that could be heard across well over half the galaxy. No. He was so foolish. That back water planet and the desert destroyed the image Han had pushed into reality. He was a father now, and he loved his child. He was a husband by word; not by law, and he loved his partner. He was a war hero, a captain, a General, a Commander. They were words, just words; but they carried so much weight. 

He hated to admit it, but he missed being a smuggler, he missed the excitement and the bubbling anxiety that would grow in his gut when he was late on a payment. Could anyone blame him? It had been a life of adventure and no one told him what to do or where to go or what to where or who to speak to. 

Stars, Han thought to himself. He sounded like a damn brat. 

“Yeah yeah I know Chewie.” Han responded after the Wookie made a low noise once again, indicating that Leia had just entered the hangar since Han’s eyes were closed as he sat back in the pilots seat, his feet resting neatly on the control panel and avoiding any important buttons and switches. Han rubbed the tears away from his eyes as he stood and headed out of the Falcon, Chewie right on his tail. 

“You were smoking?” Leia asked, confused. Han rarely, RARELY smoked. It was only when he was feeling extra down in the dumps like he was right then. Hell could you blame him though? Her big eyes found his. That day, she was dressed as she usually was in tight pants, boots, and a flowing tunic. However her hair was in a long braid that cascaded down her back; though she had it whipped over her shoulder like a thick rope. Still, even after ten years, Leia was as petite as could be; though Han was sure she could easily take him down if she wanted to. Hell she did that on a daily basis half the time, just with words. Her tongue was pointed and silver. That’s what made her such a good politician. Or well, politician adjacent. She still shined far brighter in a military setting. 

“Yeah.” He breathed the smoke through his nose. The cig was nearly finished and he did not feel like letting Leia question him about it so instead of smoke the rest, Han flicked it onto the ground and snubbed it out with his boot. Leia watched the entire affair with pointed eyes, her hands on her thin hips. That was something he was amazed about, in the long list of things that he could barely believe about Leia. She had Ben and it was like the baby weight just evaporated off of her in the same hour. She looked as though she was about to comment on the cigarette and the smoking in the Falcon but Han briskly walked passed her. 

He could feel the pointed glare she was throwing at his back as he went back through the palace. The politicians and governors and the military officials all gave him nods or greetings as he walked by but he simply ignored them all. They were quick to do the same to Leia, however she actually responded with a smile and a nice response. Han was going to leave the palace and head out into town but right when he was about to burst through the front doors of the building, a mass of black hair and gangly limbs nearly knocked him right over. Han was still in shape but not like how he had been when he first met Leia. 

His hands gripped familiar tiny shoulders. Well; not entirely too tiny anymore. Ben, his son, was growing faster and faster. He was only 9 years old and he was about Leia’s height. Han could only assume Ben got his growing spurts from his grandfather. Leia explained, as she had gone through old records, that Anakin Skywalker had been a giant of a man. Han did not doubt that either, considering how tall Darth Vader had been. Of course part of that had been the metal augmentations, but his point still stood. Ben would surely sprout right on past Han’s seemingly measly height before too long. “I’m so excited for our picnic!” Ben said, bouncing rapidly on the balls of his feet. Han’s eyes widened for a franction of a moment before he turned and found Leia catching up to them. 

It was only then that he realized she was carrying a basket of something or other with a blanket resting on top of the carrying devices surface. Han really had been so out of it thinking of memories and ghost from the past. And then, he could not help but blush as he felt his stomach gurgle quite loudly, unable to hide the fact he was hungry; even though the last thing he really wanted to do was go on a picnic with Leia and Ben. It was nothing against the two of them, his mind was just not quite in the right place for it. Plus, he knew Leia and he would get in a griping match. That was one of their specialties, and anyone in a mile radius knew to steer clear when they were going at each others throats. 

Never the less, he knew Leia would be even far madder if he turned down his son now. So instead he smiled, shrugged his shoulders, and followed the two back through the other way into the palace. It did not take long for them to exit out the other end onto the large royal property. It seemed to go on for miles and he knew exactly where she was planning on making their picnic.

It did not take long for them to find the grassy little knoll beside a large waterfall and a good sized lake. Ben happily helped Leia lay the blanket down and Han was quick to place the basket on the blanket so said fabric would not fly away. 

Perhaps it was for the best that Han went out on the picnic with them. He had not seen it earlier, but just relaxing with his family was exactly what he needed. The sun on Naboo was not too intense, and the heavy vegetation, greenery, and flowers that surrounded them; not to mention the hundreds of lakes, rivers, and streams, had the image of shimmering gold sand dunes far out of his mind. 

He asked for Ben to pass him some of the cured meat when a crash, a yelp, and a loud splash had all three Organa-Solo’s spinning towards the lake. “Han!” Leia shouted. The oldest man could only assume she had seen what happened what with how pale she was. “It was a human!” And Han was moving before anyone could stop him. 

Too many strange things had happened in his life for him to question how a human suddenly appeared over the lake on Naboo and crashed into the crystalline water without any prior warning. He would question it later if he got around to it. At the moment two things were going through his head; assess the danger level to himself and his family, and if there was none, save whoever it was that had landed in the water. Though perhaps he did not need to do number two, what with a sopping wet man, he assumed it was a man with the tight and broad, yet strangely lean shoulders, came crawling out onto the shore line. 

Han swallowed hard at the sight of wet blonde hair, his hand brushing against the blaster on his hip. He heard the man coughing up water and growling something in a language that sounded suspiciously like Huttese; and curses of a pirate at that. 

The sound of him cocking his blaster back was enough to alert the man who jumped up and Han nearly shot involuntarily at the sight of a familiar green light saber igniting to life. 

~’~

Luke could honestly say he sometimes hated the Force. It was a pivotal part of him, but it also had a mind of its own. That’s how he found himself plummeting into darkness before splashing into cold water, a warm sun somewhere above him. This had happened a few times in the past; what the Force suddenly dropping him in random parts of the galaxy. That’s also what had him cursing different Jedi masters of the past in Tatooine’s home world language, or at least the home world language once the Hutts got a hold of it. 

As he crawled out of the water onto soft grass, the sound of a blaster had him jumping up as fast as his body could move. His lightsaber ignited but he knew it was a mistake; or perhaps the Force was not finished playing coyly with him just quite yet. 

He was not entirely sure what he was seeing before him. It was Han, but…not quite. There were years on the man’s face not yet lived. His brown hair, still thick and luscious, now had a smattering of silver and grays. The soft lines on Han’s face that could be attributed to the stress of being on the run for Han’s entire life were deepened; quite clearly from age now instead of any psychological being. 

“Luke?” Han asked, and Luke knew then and there the Force did a little more than throwing him around this time. It seemed as though the Force had piled up a bit too much energy; and thrown him right through time. There was no other explanation, especially with Han calling him by his name instead of ‘Kid’.

“Han?” Luke knew that voice. Leia could be spotted behind Han and Luke’s theory was proven true. She was older; at least by ten years. She was standing back, quite clearly ready to run if it had not been Luke that came crawling out of the pond. 

She narrowed her eyes then stepped forwards again. This time, Luke acted. He lowered his weapon and turned it off. “Hmm something has gone awry it seems.” He muttered under his breath and Leia and Han both broke out with giant smiles; still confused but far more relaxed then they had been. Han was the first to move. He ran forwards and nearly tackled Luke back into the water; wrapping his large arms around Luke’s body. 

“Gods kid it is you.” Han whispered more into the crown of Luke’s head than anything else. The blonde could feel a light kiss placed there before Han pulled away. Leia moved into his place and wrapped her brother into her arms. They shared a quick hug before pulling away again; though now Han and Leia were looking him up and down. “Though I can’t say to what extent. I am guessing Force stuff?” It was quite clear Luke was younger than both of them when he should at the very least be Leia’s age. 

“Your guess is as good as mine. The Force can be fickle like that.” Han stood quietly, Leia beside them as they both stared at Luke. 

“You couldn’t be older than 23. I remember that outfit as well.” Leia murmured under her breath. It had Han and Luke both glancing at her direction. 

“I would hope so,” His voice is lighter this time but still haunted by what he had just done not three days ago. “The celebration on Endor was still going on the last time I checked. I had not left the mood yet.” 

He watched as Han whistled, his eyes raking over his body once again which had Luke flushing much to his chagrin. “So you really are only 23. You look like a damn wet dream.” That had Leia hitting Han in the middle of his chest, the Corellian smuggler frowning as he held the spot she just whacked. 

“Han Solo! Language!” She hissed. “Your son is right there.”

Luke’s heart nearly stopped. 

Han’s son. 

Han’s son meant it was Han and Leia’s son. 

He was somehow able to control the vertigo he suddenly felt coursing through him. 

The realization was both a beautiful dream and a horrid nightmare, especially as the two older individuals parted and a young boy appeared. He was almost as tall as Luke but looked as though a good wind would knock him over. He had a head of dark brown hair, nearly black, and his skin was strangely pale and freckles dotted the bridge of his nose. His eyes, nose, and mouth all seemed to be a little too big for the surface area of his face; and the size of his ears did not help either. It gave him the appearance of a strange animal. 

Luke would have thought Han and Leia’s child would be a little more beautiful; though he could only assume the young man would grow into his parents ethereal and rugged beauty. He stumbled forwards and Luke noted he was still growing into his body as well. “Uncle Luke?” The young man asked the blonde who was trying his damn hardest not to show the absolute and utter heart break. 

Leia and Han’s child; Luke felt his hummingbird heart thudding so hard against his chest as the young man walked right up to him. Of course he was happy about the two of them having a child. 

Of course he was happy. 

Right.

Right? 

“Ah, not quite the Uncle Luke you would perhaps recognize.” Luke tried to make light of the situation but felt as though he failed miserably, especially with how sad and forlorn Han was looking at him. 

The young man just smiled before hugging around Luke’s body. “Wow! The Force sure is crazy!” He giggled then pulled away. Luke could feel the young man was Force sensitive even without him opening his mouth and giving him away. Of course someone that was Force sensitive would be able to recognize this as the work of that ambiguous creature that flowed through out the universe. 

“Yeah it sure is kiddo.” 

Leia stepped forwards, a hand on her sons shoulder. “Luke. This is our son, Ben Solo.” 

Ben bowed before he popped back up. “Oh yeah! They named me after your old man!” Luke knew what Ben meant. Not his old man meaning Luke’s own father, he was named after Obi-Wan. That in itself had the blonde tearing up.

“Simply incredible.” He whispered into the warm air. 

~’~

“I am guessing you already know who our father is then.” Luke whispered. They were back at the palace and standing in one of the libraries. There were giant windows that had been opened into the warm Naboo air. Leia stood near the opening and nodded and Luke just sighed. 

“It has already been dealt with. It was rather hard at the beginning, many of the new government did not trust me. But once I explained that you killed Vader and he was destroyed on the Death Star for good, they came around.” 

Leia could see the physical change in her brothers appearance at the mention of Vader. His lean body tightened in on itself. “I did not kill him.” 

“Yes I know that Luke. But when all the politicians found out he got what was coming, they quieted down.” That was quite clearly the wrong thing to say. She had never seen her brother so furious, his gold hair whipping about when she uttered those words. His blue eyes were knives, staring her down. 

“He did not get “what was coming” Leia. He sacrificed himself to save me.” 

“Luke.” She started, slightly exasperated. She had never heard him speak like this, and they never had this sort of conversation the first time around. He had just shut himself off and she could only assume he felt the same way. “He was a monster. He tried to kill you. Kriff! He cut off your damn hand!” Now she was shouting and Luke cradled said appendage close to his chest, something he did ever since the injury. But the fire behind his eyes did not die down. 

“How dare you say something like that.” It was whispered but those words were just the calm before the storm. “Anakin Skywalker was victim of his circumstances. He was my father and you father and that will never change.” 

“That monster was not my father Luke.” She shouted right back, sure that their match was going to attract attention. “He is this ghost that is haunting you and he has you all twisted up Luke!” 

“Yes he is your father.” 

“No.” Leia put her foot down. “He stood by as he destroyed the Organas. They are my true family.” It was a harsh blow; the undertones and underlying message that the Skywalkers were not her family was quite clear to the blonde standing before her. He flinched back.

By now, Leia heard a familiar set of footsteps running in. Han burst through the door, ready to take down anyone that was going to hurt the people he loves but only found the two siblings glaring at one another. Though Luke’s was a little more watery. He allowed the tears to slip down his cheeks. “I burned my father, Vader, Anakin Skywalker, whatever you wish to call him.” Luke sobbed into his hand. “I burned him on a traditional pyre because I knew that was truly my father.” Leia watched as perhaps the only person in the universe now that could never make Luke cry in pain walked slowly to him. Luke did not even flinch as Han wrapped his arms around him and the blonde just collapsed into a fit of tears. 

“He was a victim.” Luke sobbed and wailed. “He was a victim of loving too powerfully but he never once stopped being my father.” Luke sobbed and sobbed and clung to Han’s shirt as Leia wiped her face with her hand, tears forming in her eyes but she willed them back. 

This Luke was so fragile, and she could only assume that her time’s Luke was the same way. Yet he put on this hard face for everyone. 

How could she have been so foolish. Of course Luke would love Darth Vader, or well, Anakin Skywalker, with a love so strong it moved planets, 

It was the same for the man that wrapped Luke into a tight embrace. 

Leia just always told herself otherwise.


End file.
